i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
