so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sext me about skeletons
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
