I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
