dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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