Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
