You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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