yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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