all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize