I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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