god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize