Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
