i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
