Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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