Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
