is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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