jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Non-Jews are for practice
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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