I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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