Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
