Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
