Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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