i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
