Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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