i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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