So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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