I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
