You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
