Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize