omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
