gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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