Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You need a sexual gate keeper
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
