You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize