So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize