I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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