so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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