i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
