He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
