D3 body, D1 cock
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
did i just pee glitter
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
