Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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