our cab driver is having phone sex.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize