shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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