normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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