i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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