how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
