we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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