he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Houston, we have a blender
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
