We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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