She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
vagina is talking i cant
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
