So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
