I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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