i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
