I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i think my cat just said my name.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
