is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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