oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
