Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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