ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
