I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
